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Congratulations, you have decided to get married and you want to plan your wedding day. To ensure that you have a happy and exciting time, without too much stress, here are a few notes about getting married in Church at St. Matthew's. The website of the Diocese of St Albans has a more general marriage guide.
The first thing to do is to ring the Vicar to arrange a meeting. On the phone he will advise whether or not you meet the present legal requirements for marriage at St. Matthew's.
Currently, One of you must be resident in the parish, or have been on the Electoral Roll (a list of baptised church members) for six months, as a habitual, non-resident worshipper. Rest assured, all this is not as complicated or daunting as it sounds!
Note: there may soon be a change in the law. A new Measure, which could come into force in 2008, provides for a couple to have the same right to marry, without the need for a Special Licence, in the parish church of a parish with which one or both of them can show that he or she has a “qualifying connection” of a kind specified in the new Measure.
If you think this may apply to you, the vicar will not be able to make any commitment to arrange your marriage you until the Measure becomes law, but if you would like to know more, there is a document to download that answers most of the frequently asked questions about it (66KB in rich text format).
In the past it was not possible to be married at St. Matthew's if you were divorced with a previous partner still living. Following a recent change in The Church of England's rules this may now be an option in certain circumstances. (For more details see the Church of England Website for a copy of the leaflet Marriage in Church after Divorce.). It is also possible to opt for a service of dedication after a civil ceremony. The Vicar will be happy to discuss this with you.
When you meet the Vicar at the Vicarage you will be able to fix a mutually convenient time and date. You will be asked to pay a £50-00 pound non-returnable deposit. You will also need to liase with your reception venue and check with key family members and friends that your proposed date is also acceptable to them. The Vicar will note down your details as required by the Registrar General. He will also advise you about the legal preliminaries for getting married, the fees payable and other practical matters.
Usually this is involves the calling of Banns. On three Sundays, in the three months prior to your wedding, legal notice is given in the 9.30am service of your intention to marry and asking for any legal objections. It is a good idea for you to be present for at least one of these services. Many couples enjoy coming to church on a more regular basis, thereby gaining familiarity with the church and the vicar and congregation. (You may wish to explore the Christian faith more fully before your wedding) Banns may also have to be called in the other parish(es) where one of you may reside or worship and a certificate obtained from the minister there to enable the vicar to marry you at St. Matthew's. Sometimes couples are married by licence. The Vicar will advise if this is necessary. He can also complete a form to enable the bride to change her name on her passport in advance of the wedding.
The Vicar will arrange a second meeting with you to go through the wedding service. You have a choice between the modern and traditional services. You will be encouraged to think about your future married life and to choose hymns and music for the service. You can also discuss music with the organist.
This is usually held a few days before the wedding. You will not need to remember everything about the service as the Vicar guides you through it. As well as the bride and groom, the best man, the bride's father and the bridesmaids other family members usually come along. That way everyone gets a sense of what will happen on the day. The balance of the fees is usually paid at the rehearsal
On the day your ushers should aim to arrive in goodtime to direct guests to their seats. The bride's guests go to the left & the groom's to the right. They also give out service sheets or hymn books. They sometimes escort the bride's mother to her seat. The Vicar meets the bride and her father together with the bridesmaids at the door. He then leads them to the front to join the groom and best man.
After the welcome & opening prayer, a hymn is sung. The Vicar then introduces the service, explaining the purposes of marriage and giving a last chance for any legal objections. The bride & groom give their consent (I will), exchange vows and give rings. They are then pronounced man & wife. After this there is a reading, a hymn, prayers, the final hymn and then the blessing. After the registers have been signed, the bride & groom lead everyone out of church. The full text of the service is available to download (17KB in rich text format).
Confetti may be thrown in the churchyard, ideally the sort that the birds can eat! Guests are encouraged to park in the roads near the church. (The car park is not in use on Saturday, as we don't wish to inconvenience our neighbours in St. Matthew's Close.) There is disabled access and lavatories are available in the hall to the rear of the church. Photographs and video-recordings may be taken after consultation with the vicar. You may arrange to bring your own flowers into church. The bells are no longer ringable as the tower is unsafe. The Vicar will issue your marriage certificate at the service. You can approach him for extra copies in the future if these are required.
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Last updated 12/06/08 19:00 Author: Fr David Shepherd