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The funeral

It is always a distressing time when a loved one dies. There is much to be done concerning the arrangements for the funeral. These days the first port of call is usually the undertaker of your choice. He or she will advise you of all that needs to be done and also contact the Vicar to arrange a service.

However you are welcome to contact the Vicar at the time of death to arrange a visit. He can also talk directly with your undertaker. Either way the Vicar will meet with you to talk about the deceased's life and to plan the service. The emphasis is very much on giving thanks for a person's life and on handing them over to God's loving care.

For practical and pastoral reasons many people prefer to hold a funeral service in a crematorium or cemetery chapel with the Vicar in attendance there, but please consider holding family funeral services at St. Matthew's if the deceased lived in the parish.

• As Christians we believe with St. Paul that 'not even death can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus'.
• Holding a funeral service in the place where a living Christian community meets regularly for worship reinforces that sense of being 'in communion with the saints'.
• As there is no restriction on the length of the service in church, you can plan a fitting and personalised service in consultation with the Vicar. The new Common Worship Funeral Service is very flexible, giving you plenty of choice. If you prefer you can of course opt for the traditional prayer book service.
• Our hall provides an ideal and convenient venue for refreshments after the service. There is plenty of parking and we adjoin Bushey station with fast trains to Euston.

St. Matthew's has no consecrated graveyard, so burial or cremation has to take place elsewhere. The immediate mourners usually accompany the deceased on their last journey to the cemetery or crematorium. As an alternative it is possible to have the committal at the door of the hearse or in church. The Vicar will be happy to explain this to you so that you can decide what suits you best.

Support for you afterwards

After the funeral comes the natural but sometimes difficult process of bereavement. Feelings of confusion, shock, guilt, anger and despair are common and perfectly normal.

• At St. Matthew's we have people trained as bereavement visitors. Please contact the Vicar, who is also available to listen, if you would like to be put in touch with someone. If you wish they can visit you at home over a period of time.
• Many people also find support from being part of the church congregation.
• Another ministry we offer is that of prayer. The departed are prayed for by name at our main Sunday Eucharist and at the anniversaries of their death. Their names are also included on our notice sheet. We also pray for the bereaved. As we kneel to receive communion we often feel close to those we 'have loved long since, and lost a while'.

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Last updated 03/11/2002 17:00:00 Author: Fr David Shepherd Content checked by: xxxxx